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Peoples
Dec. 7th, 2009
12:16 pm - ok...
why do native americans always come back after death to haunt the white man in pop media?
see: poltergeist
see: twin peaks
see: family guy
see: the mummy (boris karloff)
Dec. 6th, 2009
07:26 pm - raspberry
you dont need much in this life. family, friends, a place to sleep, enough to eat and drink, and being able to cook and do something musical.
12:04 pm - not proud
i caught a mouse with an empty box at 330 this morning. i chased it into the sink, then after soaking the poor thing, i managed to get it into the box. i was angry and i wanted to kill it because im not happy with my life and pathetically i thought that taking the life of something smaller than me that can make me that angry would make me feel better, but i didnt. it was wet and scared and trapped and i was tired and mad and i really feel like an asshole because i could have just let it go in the basement but first i shook the box a little. i dont know what good that could have done, and then i heard it squeak and i just let it go. god i felt like a dick.
11:24 am - does anybody feel
does anybody who bothers to read all the weird, sometimes morbid and depressing things in this journal ever feel like no matter how eloquently or heart-felt the confessions are its more like yelling into empty space than achieving catharsis? because thats how i feel. my girlfriend always wants to fight and doesnt even know it, im estranged from my friends and family, living on the other side of the country, i have extremely low self esteem and horrible things happen to me because of it... and something my dad said keeps ringing in my ears: nobody gives a shit about you. why am i still alive?
Dec. 4th, 2009
07:47 pm - testing...
i can park the car and scorn the myth
theres always brighton beach and then
coal fired pizza never tasted like this
when coming from new jersey
or even just rhode island
there is nothing more romantic
or well described
than new york city in the late fall
or early winter all the burroughs seem to fade
into nothing
tell that to someone from brooklyn
ask him what it is that really got him
to stay just where the fuck he was
to never leave is it because
he figured out theres nothing
that compares to staying where
youve got youre friends
Dec. 1st, 2009
09:20 pm - fucking rhode island
now that i live here im noticing that the jokes on family guy are really more brutally honest takes on the general idiocy of the state as a whole. That's right. People here are fucking retarded but they dont quite meet the requirements to get a placard. i think you have to be horribly overweight and addicted to cough medicine while popping out premature super retard babies at the welfare office to get a placard.
people here are dumb.
01:33 am - aughh
i just want to rail sometimes. im mad as hell and i dont have an outlet; maybe i should get a job for this reason and this reason alone. my own fucking car again, my own fucking money again and to hell with whatever anybody else is doing. i dont like being reliant on somebody elses schedule which is predominantly made up of whims and i especially dont like being left in the lurch. it sucks. big time. its fucking 12 30 and here i am alone again with no girl, no beer, no friends and no money. all i have are these stupid mice and thats making me even more paranoid and angry. the only outlet i have is this stupid blog which i abuse regularly and never seems to bring the catharsis i need desperately. and then, when i run out of words, all i can do is sit back and seethe. WHICH HELPS NOTHING AS WELL.
Nov. 30th, 2009
09:37 am - three things i need to stay away from
stress, hunger, and sleepless nights. i figure everything else will just sort of fall into place... i have court tomorrow... stupid traffic violation. i havent even so much as gotten a ticket for anything other than parking on the street at the wrong hours and now this? rhode island cops need more to do, i think.